Journal #9 Text in context essay rough draft

The "Duets" episode of Glee as compared to the "Wally's Girl" episode of Leave it to Beaver demonstrates society's perpectives on homosexuality have become slightly more accepting over time, but still demonstrate the homophobic tendencies that continue to exist.

The "Wally's Girl" episode of Leave it to Beaver, released in 1957, hints at homosexuality, but never explicitly reveals the homosexuality of Wally because it was a taboo topic at the time.  Throughout this episode of Leave it to Beaver, Wally is trying to convince Eddie and his family that he has a girlfriend to try and represent a macho personality.  The only problem with this is that he almost seems to be trying too hard.  For instance, when he convinces Eddie to go with him to his "girl's" house, they are welcomed inside, and even though she does not know who he is and she clearly is more interested in Eddie, Wally continues to claim that she is his "girl."  Wally's consistent bragging and insistence that he has a girlfriend shows that he is trying to hard to be a man, like he is trying to hide something.  This is the closest there is to homosexuality being presented in an older television show because of its taboo nature.  Although it could be argued that Wally was just acting like a young boy of the time, it seems to hint more towards homosexuality with the young boy argument as a cover up so as to not cause any uproars amongst the viewers.  If a show like the "Duets" episode of Glee was shown during the same time period, even though it still encounters many of the same taboo ideas against homosexuality, it would have been extremely unacceptable to have a character like Kurt who is open about his feminine characteristics and feelings towards men.

If Leave it to Beaver were to be rewritten today, Wally would most likely be presented as a more Kirk-like character.  Even though in today's times many people still look down upon homosexuality, it is more prevelant in television shows and tends to add more drama to the show.  Today's version of Wally would most likely have similar actions in the beginning, attempting to act manly to hide his real feelings, but as the show would continue and he got older, he would eventually stop trying to hide his true feelings and begin expressing them.  This would cause similar responses from Wally's friend Eddie and his family as characters from Glee like Finn react when Kurt tries to flirt with or even work with other men.  Despite the general acceptance for Kurt's homosexuality, the general society still slightly looks down upon him or worries about how others, especially straight males, would react.  This would be the same in Wally's case because Eddie seems as though he is a friend that would not completely ditch Wally because of his sexual orientation, but he would still be cautious around him, not really knowing what to think or how to act to avoid any sexual feelings directed at him by his best friend.  This reaction, just like those in Glee when Kurt wants to work with Sam, is a reflection of how the majority of the straight population tends to view the gay population today.  This demonstrates how our society has changed and become more accepting, but still continues to have slightly homophobic tendencies.

Journal #8: correcting essay #1

1a. I believe that this goal began manifested itself in my subconscious persona.
1b. I believe that this goal began by manifesting itself in my subconscious persona.
Diane Hacker's rules about past participles (27d, pg. 213)

2a..  For instance, I am constantly making use of words such as “drift”, “wander”, “switch”, and “jolted back” when describing my mind and my thought process showing that the thoughts/emotions themselves are shifting back and forth.
2b. .  For instance, I am constantly making use of words such as “drift,” “wander,” “switch,” and “jolted back” when describing my thought process showing that the thoughts/emotions themselves are shifting back and forth.
Diane Hacker's rules about using punctuation with quotation marks according to conventions (37f, pg. 305).
3a. The words “jolted back” are grouped with words such as “frustrations”, while “drifting back” is associated with words such as “happily”.
3b. The words “jolted back” are grouped with words such as “frustrations,” while “drifting back” is associated with words such as “happily.”
Also from Diane Hacker's rules about using punctuation with quotation marks according to conventions (37f, pg. 305).
4a. As opposed to my current representation where I depict the long drive and my thoughts in ways such as, “There’s a long road ahead seemingly straight, but causes my mind to wander in twists and turns, thoughts of fate.”
4b.  My current representation, on the other hand, where I depict the long drive and my thoughts in ways such as, “There’s a long road ahead seemingly straight, but causes my mind to wander in twists and turns, thoughts of fate,” is a lot more appealing to the audience.
Diane Hacker's rules about sentence fragments (19, pg. 148).
5a. The general appearance of the poem comes across as very “stream of conscious”-like based on its specific diction and structure combination.
5b.  The general appearance of the poem resembles a stream of consciousness narrative because of its specific diction and structure.
A mixture of DIane Hacker's rules about empty/inflated phrases and simplifying the structure (16c and 16d, pg. 124-126).
6a. I do not allowing myself to think and edit my thoughts to alter the persona that is truly occurring which happens to be the positive perception flow with traces of slight negativity (i.e. oww representing a negative thought in general which I take and twist in to a positive thought by ignoring that possible negative reaction.)
6b. I do not allow myself to think and edit my thoughts to alter the persona that is truly occurring which happens to be the positive perception flow with traces of slight negativity (i.e. oww representing a negative thought in general which I take and twist in to a positive thought by ignoring that possible negative reaction.)
Seems like a subject verb agreement discussed in Diane Hacker's Rules for Writers (22, pg. 175-181)
7a. Looking at the structure of the text in terms of the form of writing I used to represent it, also demonstrates a flowing nature of my life perspectives.
7b. Looking at the poetic structure of the text, also demonstrates a flow of nature of my life perspectives.
Diane Hacker's rules on wordy sentences, simplifying the structure (16d pg. 125-126)
8a. This poetic description more accurately and beautifully depicts my actual feelings and thoughts, and appears to flow in and out of the positive and negative more readily than a narrative would. 
8b. This poetic description more accurately and beautifully depicts my actual feelings and thoughts as it appears to flow in and out of the positive and negative more readily than a narrative would.
Diane Hacker's rules on Unnecessary  commas between compound elements that are not independent clauses (33a, pg. 285)
9a.  Through analyzing this piece of text, such as, the diction and structure used subconsciously, I realized that I was truly representing my struggle at the time between positive and negative perceptions.
9b.Through analyzing this piece of text, such as the diction and structure used subconsciously, I realized that I was truly representing my struggle at the time between positive and negative perceptions.
Diane Hacker's rules for Unnecessary commas (33h, pg. 289)
10. In paragraph 2, when looking at Diane Hacker's rules about Evaluating arguments and tracing causes and effects (48a, pg, 374), I realized that if I explained why the flowing persona was necessary in causing the positive outlook discussed in the thesis, it would have worked better and made more sense as to why I used it.

Through the process of this activity, I took a closer look at my writing and realized general areas and mistakes that seemed to repeat as opposed to just being typos.  Also, it helped me look deeper into my writing and figure out how I can improve it and where it is stronger.  In addition, by using the specific rules provided by the Hacker's Rules for Writers, I was able to realize the similar mistakes that could be made so that I can avoid, not only the exact mistakes I made, but other similar ones in the future.  Overall, although I felt this activity was tedious while doing it, I realized how much it actually will help my writing.

 
 

Journal #7: Gender Identity and sexual orientation

I found Michael Lassell's poem kind of eye opening because, although there are many homophobic people in society that do even shun their family members when they found out they are homosexual, the fact that the brother that died in the poem had been neglected by his older brother for so long and that, once meeting the dying brother's lover he came to terms with the situation was something that seems rare.  I feel as though homophobes tend to normally stick to their views on the situation and do not take that time to realize that it is actually okay even if it makes them feel uncomfortable.  This poem defines homosexually as a love between people of the same sex that is even stronger than that between a man and a woman because of the ridicule they have to go through just for their choice of feelings, while heterosexuality is thought of as "normal", the love between a man and a woman that everyone accepts and respects.  I believe this poem is very similar to the idea presented in the Duets episode of Glee in the situation of Kurt and how he has to deal with his sexuality and what people would think if Sam sang a duet with him.  In both cases, it shows that homosexuality is something that many people disrespect and believe makes a man not as "manly."  In both cases, the idea that people that are homosexual actually have to be stronger and more comfortable with themselves than the average person does because they have to accept who they are and show others that it is okay to be different, shown by the quote from the poem given above as well as when Kurt goes up on stage and sings a duet by himself.  After viewing these clips, I have realized how many people are still incredibly homophobic despite the growing amount of homosexual people there are out there, as well as how much stronger and more confident homosexuals have to be to make it in this world.

Journal #6- Rhetorical Analysis: Silent Victims

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Xh-tZrzwk

  In this commercial, the humane society is making use of depressing music, highlighting heart-wrenching phrases, and displaying tragic images in order to tap in to the emotional appeal of the audience.

The use of depressing music subliminally places the audience in a mood that makes them feel sorry for the animals and want to help.  For instance, if someone is at home with the television on in the background, that music is going to catch their attention by putting them in to a saddened state and causes them to have the want to see what they can do to take that saddened state and make it a happier one.  Also, the fact that the music does not have specific lyrics, and later comes in with an actress speaking over the music adds to the idea that the animals do not have a means of speech and therefore cannot ask for our help themselves.  The use of the music is just the subconscious effect that begins to tap into the audience's emotions. Relating to the music, they add specific, written phrases to accompany the lyricless, depressing tone of the music.

By using highlighted, tragic phrases throughout the commercial, they bring the emotional connection to a more conscious, upfront state.  In the typed phrases, they highlight specific words in order to make the tragic situations the animals have been through more evident to the audience.  For instance, they use the phrases, "Why did they hurt me?", "Why did they abandon me?", and "Will I die today?" while highlighting the words hurt, abandon, and die to cause people to realize the extent of the situation and also feeling partially responsible for it because they are referring to humans that have abused and neglected them that way.  Also, while showing the phrases along with the pictures of the animals that we have already distinguished cannot communicate, the phrases are being used to show what the animals are saying with the look they provide in the respective image.

Lastly, the use of tragic images completes the emotional connection to the audience and overwhelms them to a point that they will want to help the animals.  For instance, they show animals that are missing eyes, cows being knocked over by trucks, and dogs that look like they are almost in tears with matted fur and barely any meat on there bones.  These images hit home with the audience because they can actually see the effects of the abuse and neglect of the animals as opposed to just hearing about it.  Combining the visual along with the audio and textual, emotional expressions uses the maximum possible emotional effects and uses them in one commercial to convince the audience to want to help out in whatever way they can.

Journal Entry #5: Hypertext vs. Original Text

When looking at Sloan's original text compared to the hypertext, it was hard to even relate the two versions of the text.  I felt as though the original text was much more straight forward and got the point across in a lot clearer of a way than the hypertext.  Although the pictures in the hypertext allowed us to develop a connection to the events and really be able to see what was being discussed, it almost added too many images without really putting any description by the image so you were slightly forced to guess what part of the reading the image really connected to.  I found the links very distracting because, by going off on a deeper explanation of that part of the text, I tended to forget what exactly I was reading and its purpose.  So therefore I believe that the original text was more efficient at getting the point across, although I believe if they included the pictures in the original text along with a description then the combination of both the hypertext and the original text. 
When looking at the Miller and Brouma's text I believe a hypertext would be useful to an extent at describing the meaning of the poetry/word usage involved because it can get slightly confusing, but too many links would again cause the same problem as that which occured in the hypertexting of Sloan's text.

Journal Entry #4- Cultural diversity

My experience at the CESL today was a very enlightening and enjoyable.  I met two people who have just recently moved here from China and Dubai.  It was very interesting talking to them and sharing their life experiences as well as mine and finding out what they have planned for their futures.  The thing that interested me most about their culture is that they both had very tight and close family relations as opposed to the general American culture in which many parents allow their kids to be independent sooner and even kick their kids out of the house at 18.  My family, also raised with a different culture, has very similar closeness within the family and always having a place at home for their children.  It was interesting to hear how in China the parents rarely let their children do anything unsupervised and are raised so strictly.  In Dubai, I learned that the families tend to live together with multiple generations in one house.  For instance, if a son gets married, he can live in his father's house as long as he wants. I believe that our interactions today related to the reading Letter to Mexico because there were alot of new ideas and culture shocks in both situations.  For instance, in Letters to Mexico, Biss realizes how disgraceful many people of the American culture are when she is around Mexican citizens and how they view her negatively because of stereotypical judgements.  SImilarly, I had some preconceived notions of some of the Chinese and Arab cultures that were proved wrong by meeting with these people that I met today.  Also, in the story, Biss helps out the Mexican American in the factory with her English and vice versa with Biss' spanish.  They developed a friendship and mutual understanding of each others' cultures and accepted and appreciated each other.  Today was similar as we had conversations that extended beyond the given question sets and were facinated to learn about the others' cultures.  By learning about other cultures and how it shapes the identities of the people that are part of that society, we realize that we are able to shift our culture slightly by learning from the positive identifiers of other cultures.  Overall this experience definitely made a positive impact on me.

Journal Entry #2

The persona text I have chosen for my essay is a poem I wrote, The Long Road Ahead, on a long car ride home from San Diego knowing that I was going to fly to New York after I got back home to go visit my boyfriend who I hadn't seen in about 2 months.  This poem expresses alot about how I was beginning to learn to not make comments when it would just make a situation worse as well as learning to go in to my own world and think about the best situations and moments, which was a new trait for me after generally being pessimistic.  I also picked this poem because I liked the language I used and how I used literal occurrences and combined them with symbolism and rhyming to turn my feelings into a more "graceful" story.   I have written up the poem here in order to show what exactly I am basing my opinions and analysis on.

The Long Road Ahead

There's a long road ahead seemingly straight,

but causes my mind to wander in twists and turns, thoughts of fate.

Daydreaming, fantasizing, thinking of the best.

Times in the past and those to come in the future better than the rest.
Sometimes I'm jolted back to the moment with other's voiced frustrations,

keeping my mouth shut and not making suggestions.

As the car calms down I drift back to the thoughts of the near future,

happily in New York not concentrating on juicy couture;
Rather far from it the thing that really matters,

seeing the one that I love not having to hide behind my shutters.
As the car ride continues, I switch between the thoughts of the future and the now,

feelings of excitement and content, ignoring the stiffness of the drive that would make me think oww.

So the straight road goes on and my mind travels on the one that bends

with thoughts of fun in the future until the drive ends.

I believe that my poem is similar to Hampl's text about memories because in both situations, the real occurrence has been taken and slightly altered, whether consciously or subconsciously, to the desired situation.  For instance, in Hampl's text, she discusses the piano teacher and the girl she meets, changing the situation slightly to how she would have wanted the story to occur.  In my poem, I take the current situation I am in, as well as the future, and I begin to picture how I would like the situation to occur and thinking of the best possible moments.  For instance, when I allow myself to forget that I am in a stuffy car and begin to think about how amazing the experience will be when I would be reunited with my boyfriend, being able to act like myself and not use a "put on" persona for that whole week.  The main difference between these two texts is that I am considering the alterations I have made to my current and future situations, while Hampl is subconsciously adjusting her memories.

Journal #1

The experience that changed my identity most as a friend/person in general was joining a zionist leadership youth group when I was 16 years old.  Before this experience, I was a generally shy young women who was in a transitional period of my life lacking close friends and self confidence.  I had been a gymnast for eleven years before, which, along with schoolwork, had taken up all my time.  My only friends had been my teammates, we did everything together.  We all quit around the same time and our friendships gradually disappeared as we moved our separate ways.  So I was in that transitional period when I decided to go to the youth group's camp as well as get involved with their year round program that my cousin was already very active in.  I started off joining this youth group completed intimidated, like a dear in headlights, by how outgoing everyone was and close they became within minutes.  After a short while, I realized that this was actually the perfect situation to make real friends. So I started putting myself out there, a blooming social butterfly, and realized that this group of people did not judge you or critize you for your imperfections, but rather appreciated you and became my friends based off of our common interests in leadership and Zionism.  After this first experience with the Youth Group I took an active role in setting up a section of the group here in town, and ran for and was elected as the programmer for the younger kids' events on the regional board.  Having this position made me realize how respected and well liked I really was and caused me to let go of my social insecurities and allow me to make friends in and out of the youth group that will last a lifetime.

Writing down this identity-altering senario was an experience that I enjoyed alot.  It was really nice to be able to think back an choose just one moment/experience that affected my life and make me realize how great of an effect the experience had on me because it was the one that I thought about most readily when reading this journal prompt.  I believe my experience in writing this memory was definitely similar to Hampl's because, although the story is generally a factual representation of what happened, there are parts that I added in emotions that may have not been evident at the time, but come out when I think back on the situation.  Adding these emotions that are part of looking back at the situation filled in empty spots of the memory and completed what the memory should be presented as as a whole.  It was easy to come up with the experience because, although I have many different identity changing experiences, this one is the most definitive as well as being the first large altering experience I remember having.  The language I expressed this story in was more of a descriptive and insight from inside my mind's view as opposed to writing the experience as a viewer of the situation.  By narrating my own feelings I believe I provided a deeper insight in to the situation as well as adding comparisons/similes to make the feelings seem more relateable to the reader.